Updated: Aug 30, 2019
Every human has something that drives them forward.
As you continue to journey this something changes with your experiences. Something that has driven you before may be outdated or overcome now, your WHY for doing what you are doing, pursuing what you’re pursuing and being who are changes evolves alongside yourself.
Most of the time we find that the message we want to share with the world, the mission we are on directly mirrors what we need or needed for ourselves. Hence what I wanted to share a few years ago starting out as a yoga teacher and then bodyworker was at first self-healing with natural remedies and modalities when I have been going through my own healing process. Once I healed myself and continued my journey from there my message as holistic health/integrative nutrition coach evolved to that we are not only capable of healing ourselves from past traumas, chronic stress and mental & emotional imbalances but actually completely empower and thrive not despite what we have gone through but because of it. This is all about the inner work we have to do in order to be our happiest, healthiest and most thriving selves and this inner work NEVER stops. And if we never stop, we keep evolving:
So, over the last few months my why has evolved, grown and blown up even more. Absolute thrive and empowerment already IS the nonplus ultra but I now want to meet it with even MORE integrity, MORE ambition and MORE courage, translating all this inner work into completely impacting and transforming my life holistically: not only my physical, mental & emotional wellness BUT financial freedom and abundance.
What does financial freedom mean to me? A bloody damn lot. So let me tell you my story on this one: I am currently sitting and writing this Bali after another visa refusal after 5 years in Australia. I have been waiting for this yes or no decision for the last 14 months, which could have arrived any day with the note: “hey sorry but your visa application got refused, you’ve got 28 days to act on it or leave the country!”. This notification came around the corner last week out of the blue, catching me in a state of overwhelm and really, because there is A LOT of complicated stuff about dealing with Immigration and visas, gave me a few days to leave the country (temporarily) to reset my process and try once again.
Australia has been and is my home. I came as soon as I turned 18 and was able to leave Germany, having worked hard during high school, every weekend and holidays from age 13, to always be as independent as I could. There is so much to the story of why Germany is not and has never been my home but to cut it short: while some people are born the wrong bodies, others are born in the wrong countries.
Over the last 5 years I have established my entire adult life here: I have been living in my van for the first two years, had a day and night job at most times supporting myself because without residency you don’t get any social support, HEX, or proper medicare, meanwhile getting ripped of my Superannuation because some people think you can just do this with “Backpackers” as often so many young folk are labelled because they are from a different country, disregarding that some come here to (re-)create their lives. Two years in and I started to run my own business as a yoga teacher and making natural products, meanwhile still working underpaid 9-5’s to keep me floating.
The visa that has kept me here until last week was my 5th visa since arriving in Australia, excluding the bridging visas they put you on while waiting in the queue for your application to be looked at. For those of you who don’t understand what this means: visas cost you a ridiculously huge stack of money, time, nerves and big time anxiety. I have my own background and fair share of coming from several mental, emotional and physical childhood trauma resulting in eating disorders, self-harming, mental imbalances and a hugely distorted self-image which all resulted in me to go to the other end of the world to find my own way and healing journey but I have never felt anxiety like this, which has been residing in the back of my head for the last 3 years, ready to jump at me whenever growing fragile about another year in Oz having come to an end and there being no “easy” way to make this place my long term home yet.
After two years on temporary working holiday visas and then not finding a suitable work sponsorship because my skills as a holistic therapist have never been and are not on the skilled migration list (“alternative therapies and health care” doesn’t seem to feed the big industries like medical, big pharma, the government – so I doubt that visa regulations on this end will change until our collective conscious awakening has opened wider parts of society, countries and world) I ended up on a student visa as my only option to stay and buy some more time. I first looked at studying a Bachelor in environmental science at UWA, a 3 year degree, and got approved within a couple of days getting me feel so excited – until my heart dropped when reading through the papers again and realising that what is a total fee for an Australian Resident of about 35k for the BsC is was going to be my ANNUAL fee as a classified international student, having the bachelor cost me over 110k!! This is without Hex or any financial student support.
So I ended up studying a Diploma of Business for a year with a quite flaky college in Perth, because A) it only cost me 14k all up to stay for another year and B) this qualification would have gotten me onto the migration skill list the following year and potentially get me a work sponsorship and PR in Oz. So worth it. For this year I ended up trying to run my business to support myself and my studies, working 9-5, and studying full time and in person in Perth (I am living 3hrs south) to stay afloat.
Meanwhile I get the possibility of a work sponsorship with PR (permanent residency) following the graduation of my business diploma, when it turns out that just 3 weeks after my graduation (which is requirement for that visa application) the government changed laws again for work all work sponsorships, which in short made it IMPOSSIBLE for me to get ANY form of work sponsorship in Australia after the set due date in only a few weeks time. My supposed sponsorship fell through within those last 3 weeks. This was when I had the craziest anxiety of my life for a continuous couple of months to a degree of my body internally shaking whenever I sat down.
Fortunately and last minute I had a beautiful friend who I have worked for and who really just wanted to help me remain in the country offering herself to sponsor me through her business. Given she is a small business we knew right away that this application was likely to be refused because of the business financials needed to show itself sustainable enough to give me a 2 year full-time contract as visa requirement, so I only bought time again, hoping for the best but really knowing that there was no way of this sponsorship being approved. Just as expected but denied the refusal came through last week after 14months and 11k, having me leave my home Oz asap and back into the arms of total uncertainty and anxiety.
The upside is that the past 4 years really have prepared and taught me to not have any expectations, have completely self-reliance, and manage anxiety with all those tools I have, but never the less: it freaking sucks living and building your life with absolutely uncertainty of how long you’ll be able to remain in the place you’ve been calling home since you became an adult, established everything you are and do and “buy” yourself in year by year, whenever catching a glimpse of hope having it taken away by immigration law changes (another one to come currently again) and the worry that you won’t be able to play this money game, which comes with every new visa process only giving you another short period of time.
While sitting here having had to leave and cancel work in Oz unexpectedly I am not eligible to work, which is always the big factor: money and finances. Which brings it down to my take-away of that all this is not a whinge, but my personal story with which especially now the universe is really kicking me in my butt and gives me fire: to step up my game and DO what I am worthy of doing, DO the new way, TRUST in my skills, my worth, my value and LIVE in the way I need to live in order to create this freedom for myself: I have an insane drive right now for creating myself an location-independent income, allowing me to sustain myself wherever I am, however visa decisions turn out, however quick and spontaneous I need to act, however much I need to fork out for another visa affaire. Instead of being overloaded with major stress and anxiety when problems like this arise, I want to be able to just go overseas, wait out my decisions and RELAX knowing “I got this”, knowing that I am financially secure whatever happens, because I have my residual income coming in EVERY DAMN week, no matter whether I am in Oz, Asia, Europe or anywhere else in this world while living, connecting with amazing people and sharing health and being able to do what I need to do without MONEY being the factor that is holding me back, preventing me from living the life time I want to live to really and absolutely do, be and feel my best while empowering others to do the same.
Money & financial problems is number one root cause of chronic STRESS, which is number one root cause of basically ALL imbalances and diseases and in my humble opinion the FOUNDER of the “mental illness” label. So really: how can we be HOLISTICALLY (body – mind – emotions/spirit) healthy when we are stressing about finances for most of our lives?
Money still is such a “Taboo” topic for oh so many, yet it is the greatest problem for so many of us. But times are changing, the market is changing and the way conventional way of work and making money is changing too. Sure, not every invention is necessarily better than what we already had but often it is and for everything there is someone who is trying to ruin it for everyone else by acting out with no integrity morals or wrong reasons, but always remember that there is only about 5% of assholes on this planet and 95% percent of kind, honest and loving open hearts and opportunity awaits around oh so many corners. Not everything is for everyone but don’t limit yourself by pretending you already know it all, mistrusting the whole humanity or every new way of living – you never know or grow until you try and see for yourself.
If you resonate with this in one or another way or you are in difficult situations too where money or your money story is your block and you’d like to just know about more about how I am changing MY money story and INDEPENDENCE and how it could be for you too or what residual income is or how sharing health actually brings financial health too – let’s just have a chat!
All the love magic humans xxx Lena
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